Do you know anyone who committed suicide? How old were they?
Many people think that it’s usually youth who take their own lives. But statistics
tell us something different (more on that later). I understand this is an
uncomfortable topic for some, and very painful for others. But it’s an important
one.
The suicide rate among older adults is a serious public health concern. However,
with the right resources and support, suicide can be preventable. Before we talk
about prevention and the good news, we need to look at what researchers are
telling us.
The Stats
Sometimes numbers cause my eyes to glaze over. If you’re anything like me, feel
free to skip the next three paragraphs but be sure to read the warning signs and
action steps following this section.
According to research from the National Council on Aging, while older adults
comprise just 16.8% of the population, they make up approximately 22% of
suicides.
In a NCHS Data Brief from 2023, the U.S. Department of Health and Human
Services reported this:
In 2021, among adults age 55 and older, the highest rates of suicide were
for men age 85 and older (55.7 deaths per 100,000 population) and women
ages 55–64 (7.8).
The largest percent increase in suicide rates between 2001 and 2021
occurred among men ages 55–64 and among women ages 65–74.
This report shared three statistics that genuinely surprised me: Among adults ages
55–74, the rates for men were 3 to 5 times higher than rates for women. Among
adults ages 75–84, the rate for men was almost 8 times higher, and among adults
age 85 and older, the rate for men was nearly 17 times higher than the rate for
women.
To sum up a large section of this Data Brief: as men grow older, suicide rates
generally, go up, but as women age, suicide rates generally go down.
I admit that these numbers dragged me into an internet rabbit hole about the
“gender paradox” in health topics and suicide prevention. But that is an entirely
different blog post.
However, I did discover from numerous sources five main factors that can
contribute to suicidal thoughts and behavior among older adults (men and
women):
Grief over lost loved ones.
Loss of self-sufficiency.
Chronic illness and pain.
Cognitive impairment.
Financial troubles.
These challenges can be especially difficult when an older adult feels isolated or is
reluctant to ask for help. This is where living in a community, such as Friendsview,
can make a massive difference. Together, we can be on the lookout for the
hardships and pains that our neighbors are facing and help connect them with
support.
Warning Signs
The National Council on Aging said, “Clinical depression is not a normal part of
aging, yet it remains widely under-recognized, under-diagnosed, and undertreated among older adults.”
But there are warning signs:
- Giving away beloved items or changing their will.
- Sudden interest or disinterest in religion.
- Unexplained irritability or anger.
- Rapid change in mood from angry/irritable to content.
- Avoiding social activities.
- Neglecting self-care, medical regimens, and grooming.
- Exhibiting a preoccupation with death.
- Lacking concern for personal safety.
After all those stats and warning signs, I think we all need some good news.
Thanks to suicide prevention resources and research, there are effective ways to
help prevent suicide. There are many resources available to aid us when we
recognize these warning signs in our loved ones, neighbors, friends, co-workers,
and even ourselves.
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline recommends 5 Action Steps for talking with
someone who may be thinking about or considering suicide.
ASK.
“How – Asking the question, ‘Are you thinking about suicide?’ communicates that
you’re open to speaking about suicide in a non-judgmental and supportive way.”
Asking directly does not put the idea of suicide into someone’s head. In fact,
asking the question can open the door to an important conversation.
BE THERE.
“How – This could mean being physically present for someone, speaking with
them on the phone when you can, or any other way that shows support for the
person at risk. An important aspect of this step is to make sure you follow through
with the ways in which you say you’ll be able to support the person – do not
commit to anything you are not willing or able to accomplish.”
HELP KEEP THEM SAFE.
“How – First of all, it’s good for everyone to be on the same page. After the “Ask”
step, and you’ve determined suicide is indeed being talked about, it’s important
to find out a few things to establish immediate safety.”
I recommend reading the entire “Help Keep Them Safe” section because it’s not a
“one-person job.” Take advantage of the many resources offered at Friendsview
and your other connections. You don’t have to do this alone.
The goal is to help reduce immediate danger and connect the person with
appropriate support. The National Institute of Mental Health recommends asking
whether the person has a plan and helping reduce access to highly lethal means
when possible.
HELP THEM CONNECT.
“How – Helping someone with thoughts of suicide connect with ongoing supports
(like the 988 Lifeline) can help them establish a safety net for those moments they
find themselves in a crisis.”
At Friendsview, helping a neighbor connect with the social worker, a nurse, the
counseling services available through Community Life programs, or administration
is a great start. You can also encourage them to call or text 988 or to reach out to
a trusted family member, spiritual advisor, or mental health professional.
FOLLOW UP.
“How – After your initial contact with a person experiencing thoughts of suicide,
and after you’ve connected them with the immediate support systems they need,
make sure to follow up with them to see how they’re doing. Leave a message,
send a text, or give them a call.”
I would add to #5: Follow up on yourself too. How are you feeling after any of
these steps? Are you connecting with others around you to support what this may
stir up inside your own heart? Do you recognize yourself in any of the warning
signs?
You are valuable and deserve just as much follow-up as anyone else.
The 988 Lifeline and others both emphasize that staying connected after a crisis
can make a difference.
The second piece of good news is very encouraging for Friendsview residents. In
the research articles I read, there was a common theme: senior living
communities can provide opportunities for connection, support, and access to
resources that may help mitigate or address the underlying causes of suicide risk.
One article stated that it’s rare for suicide attempts to even take place in assisted
living communities. However, I couldn’t substantiate that statement with other
research or sources, so I don’t know how true it is. Here’s what everyone agrees
on: isolation and loneliness are big concerns for seniors, and research has found
that social connections and supportive relationships can play an important role in
emotional well-being. It’s not good for us to be alone.
At Friendsview, resources such as social workers, counseling services, healthcare
professionals, and opportunities to connect with neighbors are often close at
hand. That doesn’t mean that simply living in a community eliminates the risk of
suicide. Anybody can still experience loneliness, depression, grief, illness, and
other challenges. But it does mean we have opportunities to notice when
someone is hurting and to come alongside them.
We already know that community living can provide opportunities for connection
and support. Now we have even more reason to recognize how important those
connections can be for an older adult who may be struggling with suicidal
thoughts.
The connections I see residents and staff forming at Friendsivew, are what make
me proud to work here. I know that when someone is hurting, there are friends
right there waiting to help.
I’ll end with a quote from Mother Teresa: “We will never know how much just a
simple smile will do.”
Sometimes, that simple smile is where connection begins—and connection can
remind someone that they are not alone.
Suicide Resources:
Dialing or texting 988
Connects people in crisis (or concerned friends, family, and caregivers) directly to
the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, where counselors provide free, unbiased, and
confidential support 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Institute on Aging Friendship Line:
888.670.1360
The Institute on Aging’s 24-hour toll-free Friendship Line is the only accredited
crisis line for people aged 60 years and older (non-urgent calls).
Suicide Prevention among Older Adults: a guide for family members
This guide complements the Canadian Coalition for Seniors’ Mental Health
(CCSMH) National Guidelines for Seniors’ Mental Health: The Assessment of
Suicide Risk and Prevention of Suicide.
A Guide to Promoting Emotional Health and Preventing Suicide in Senior Living
Communities
From the U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES, in 2011.
